


Mr. Moony Presents: Lessons Learned the Hard Way

by gryffindorJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-28
Updated: 2009-05-28
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:43:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ
Summary: Proof Remus Lupin is a bad ass.





	Mr. Moony Presents: Lessons Learned the Hard Way

**Author's Note:**

> Written for mindabbles, who tied for second in my little canon quiz thing. Her request was R/S and prompt was _Tell me how Sirius got Remus up against that wall in the icon above (kasche's art, L's icon), OR demonstrating the above stated truth that Remus Lupin is bad ass_. For her and only for her I mixed both prompts into one fic. Thank you to torino10154 for her help and my beta midnitemaraud_r who is so very titillating and kick ass herself!

Remus caught a trace of Sirius's scent as he opened his robes slightly to put his wand in his inside pocket. Though faint, the memories it evoked were unbelievably powerful, and his heart began to speed immediately.

"Moony?" Sirius was cocking one of his smooth brows at him. 

"What?" Remus said, hurrying to stuff his books in his bag to hide the blush he could feel rising on his cheeks. He hadn't heard a word of whatever it was Sirius had said. His thoughts were too occupied with that scent and how it had encircled him four nights ago as they'd snogged in a passageway. 

"I asked you a question."

"Oh, sorry…go ahead then." 

Sirius rolled his eyes and shook his head, tossing back his hair from his forehead. "I asked if it was difficult being best mates with someone as talented as me?" 

Remus's mouth felt dry as he tried to search his mind for the proper reply, but luckily he was interrupted first. 

"No, Padfoot. It's not difficult for him. He's got me as a best mate too, and I am so much more talented than you," James said, slinging his arm around Remus's shoulder and pulling him along as they walked out of the classroom. 

"You're cute, Prongs, thinking you're more talented than me. I won every single duel that nutter has ever put us through," Sirius said, smiling pompously. 

"Me too," James said back with an equal amount of cockiness. 

"Then it's good Professor Linden has never let you two face one another. We'd still be waiting for class to be over while you two fought it out," Remus said dryly. 

"How'd you do, Moony?" Peter asked. 

"Fine. You?" Remus didn't want to give the honest answer; that he had easily won every duel of his own. He had no interest in participating in the pissing contest James and Sirius insisted on after every Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. 

Their teacher this year, Professor Linden, was a bit of a Muggle military nutter who kept a portrait of Bernard Montgomery in his office and wore an old RAF uniform on the weekends. He insisted that the students be ready to fight at any moment. Each class was like a miniature boot camp, the entire time spent dueling or doing absurd obstacle courses meant to prepare them for "battle".

" _Fine?_ All you did was fine, Moony?" Sirius said, smiling his teasing boyish smile that made Remus's stomach stir. It was the same sort of smile he had given him right before they had kissed.

"Yes. My answer is fine," Remus answered flatly, trying to suppress any emotion from his voice that would betray the fact that his thoughts would rather be occupied with those perfectly pouty lips and supple tongue. 

Sirius snorted. "I think you did horribly, and you're covering up by saying 'fine'." 

"Hey, Padfoot, that's out of line," James said, coming to Remus's defense. "Our boy says he did 'fine', and we have no reason to doubt him." 

"Then why is he acting sheepish and not giving any details? If he did 'fine', then he should have had at least a brilliant moment or two. Why isn't he telling us about it?" 

"Because he's Mooooo-neeeee." James said, exaggerating Remus's nickname as if that alone would explain the response. "He doesn't go about boasting like you, you big prig." 

"I think he's hiding something," Sirius said, his smile now becoming slightly less boyish. "I think he was complete pants and is too embarrassed to tell us so." 

James started to laugh as he replied. "He's n—" 

"You think I'm pants at dueling?" 

"You certainly aren't as good as me." Sirius's lips had curled, his boyish smile replaced by a far more vicious one. It hurt Remus and made him angry all at once. 

"Not being as good as you and being _pants_ are two different things," Remus said, feeling his blood rushing to his head. 

"You're right. No way you're even remotely as good as me." 

"Not everyone needs to take their cock out and wave it about to prove themselves," Remus said through clenched teeth, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was glaring at Sirius, but saw James's and Peter's heads swiveling back and forth out of the corner of his eye, their mouths agape. 

"Or some of us have such pathetically small cocks they're too scared to take them out at all." 

Remus's eyes widened, and he felt as if he'd been kicked in the stomach. "Go take your big giant cock and fuck yourself." he said coldly, and turned on his heel, storming off. 

Remus had intended to return to Gryffindor Tower, wanting nothing more than to crawl into his bed and strangle his pillow. He was so angry though, that it took a minute before he realized he was headed in the complete opposite direction. What the hell was with Sirius acting like such an arsehole? Bollocks to that. Remus was not going to let him get away with it. His pillow could wait; first he was going to strangle Sirius. 

Remus turned around and ducked behind a tapestry, taking every shortcut he knew towards Gryffindor tower, hoping to catch Sirius before he went in. He caught up with him just a few paces from the portrait hole. 

"Sirius," Remus called, pulling out his wand. James, Peter and Sirius all turned around. 

"What are you doing?" Sirius flicked his eyes from Remus's face to his wand as they walked toward one another. 

"Get your wand out, we're going to duel," Remus said, throwing his book bag aside. 

"Oh, come on, Moony, I was just taking the piss."

"No, you weren't. You think I'm complete bollocks. Take out your wand, _Black_. When I beat you, I want to make sure it was a fair fight." 

"Fine, don't blame me when Madam Pomfrey has to patch up your sorry arse," Sirius said, pulling out his own wand. 

"Merlin, don't be such a twat, Moony," James said. "Sirius is fucking full of himself. _Ignore_ him." He stepped between Sirius and Remus, who were almost nose to nose now, glaring daggers at one another. 

"Shut up, James," both Remus and Sirius said at the same time. 

James stepped from between them, mumbling, "fucking idiots," under his breath as if he had never acted completely idiotic before in his life. 

"On three then. Wormtail will count," Remus said without looking away from Sirius's eyes. 

Remus and Sirius paced away from one another. James and Peter stepped back against the wall, looking back and forth between Remus to Sirius. When Remus and Sirius both stopped and turned to face each other, Peter counted, "One…two…thr—" 

" _Expell—_ " Sirius shouted, and Remus barely had a moment to dive out of the way of the fucking cheater's spell. 

" _Rictusempra!_ " Remus yelled from the floor. Sirius jumped out of the way, firing another spell. 

" _Tarantallegra!_ "

" _Locomotor Mortis!_ " This time Remus was too quick and squarely hit Sirius broadside. As he fell forward, he yelled a curse at Remus. Remus dove out of the way, and the spell hit a bust, which exploded on its plinth. Remus, covering his head to protect it from the flying plaster, gave Sirius the second he needed to free his legs. As he fired his next spell at Sirius, he noticed Sirius's chin was bleeding. 

They threw spell after spell at one another, the corridor echoing with their shouts and the occasional bit of rubble when a spell hit the ceiling or walls. The occupants of nearby portraits were also shouting, adding to the cacophony and general mayhem, hiding behind their painted furniture, and occasionally ducking out of their frames to avoid stray hexes. 

Remus fired off a spell, deflecting one of Sirius's, and rolled to the side. He saw James cast a hasty _Aguamenti_ , drenching poor Ignotus Himple, who stood in his frame with water dripping from his beard and robes, holding a soggy pulpy mess in his hand, and a look of shocked horror on his face.

"Quit complaining," he heard James say. "It's not on fire anymore, is it?" 

Remus shook his head and shot off another spell, casting a hasty Shield Charm just in time. No time for distractions, he thought. 

Eventually Remus's instincts took over, and he no longer needed to verbalize the spells; they just flew from his wand with hardly a thought. After what felt like only seconds, Sirius and Remus both hit one another at the same time with the same spell: 

_Levicorpus!_

They both flipped upside down, robes falling over their faces. Remus didn't hesitate with this new impediment. While his left hand reached to move his robes out of the way, his right shot out in the direction of Sirius's voice and fired off a stinging hex right through his robes. 

Sirius yelped, "Fuck, Moony!"

His head free, Remus now aimed his wand at his discarded book bag, sending the contents flying to hit Sirius who was still tangled in his robes. "God...Fucking...Damn it!" Sirius yelled as each object slammed into him. "Stop! STOP!" Sirius yelled. 

James and Peter clapped and whistled. 

"Well played, Moony!" 

"Good job!" 

Remus pointed his wand at the books and stopped them with a verbal _Finite Incantatum_. Unfortunately, this also released the _Levicorpus_ spell, and Sirius fell flailing to the ground with a loud thump. 

James and Peter collapsed in fits of laughter. 

Sirius grimaced, slowly freeing himself from his twisted robes, and looked up at Remus, who was still hanging calmly upside down and still covering Sirius with his wand. "Was that really necessary?" 

Remus hadn't meant to let him fall so hard, and though he felt a bit badly about it, anger still flowed in his veins. "I think so." He was beginning to get a headache from hanging upside down, and his face was probably bright red. "Do you yield?"

Sirius scowled and struggled to sit up, rubbing his shoulder. He'd dropped his wand when he fell, and he scanned the floor for it.

Remus narrowed his eyes and shot another stinging hex at Sirius' foot. 

"Goddammit Moony!" Sirius yelped, grabbing his foot. 

"Do you yield?" he said again, ignoring the blood throbbing in his head.

"Yes! All right, you bastard? I yield. Happy now?"

"Yes." Remus waved his wand to release himself, casting a quick cushioning charm before dropping to the floor. He could have said something snide, but it was enough that Sirius had conceded. It would only enrage Sirius if he rubbed it in his face, and though he was still angry, he wasn't the gloating type. Not bothering to pick up his things, he rose, dusted off his robes, and turned and walked away. 

Remus ran down the nearest flight of stairs, sprinted up a corridor, and headed to another staircase. He could hear someone chasing him and hoped it was Peter, but he wasn't going to stop to find out. 

"Moony! Wait!" 

It wasn't Peter; it was Sirius. Remus moved faster, careening around the landing and ducking into a secret passageway that would bring him out two floors down near the Charms corridor. 

It was fucking annoying that Sirius knew every passageway as well. He could hear him gaining behind him. He was about to exit the narrow passageway when Sirius caught him. 

"Stop!" He grabbed Remus by the shoulder and turned him around. "You aren't faster than me, so you might as well stop now." 

"What do you want then?" Remus demanded. 

"You kick my arse and then run away? What the hell?" Sirius demanded, twisting his hand in Remus's robe. "You proved you're better. You should be happy." 

Remus tried pushing Sirius's hand away. "Don't act like you were just having me on." 

"You know me, Moony, I'm full of myself. I was just being an arse," Sirius said, his face suddenly softer, less angry. 

"You can't treat me like that," Remus said, still angry. "You can't put your hands down my pants one day, then treat me like shit the next. I'm not some tart you just have it off with a couple times then push away till she leaves you alone."

"I wouldn't do that to you!" 

"The hell you wouldn't — you're already trying!"

"It wasn't about that."

Remus glared at him. "Then what was it about?" he asked, his chest heaving. He hadn't wanted this confrontation, but now that Sirius was here, it took all his strength not to throttle him 

"I—I—I don't know how to act with you. I can't just start holding your hand and snogging you any time I feel like it. I don't know what you want so—"

"So you treat me like shit to see my reaction. You're a bloody genius, Black!" They were standing so close, Remus could smell him; sweat and dust and a whiff of [that stupid shampoo]. It was overwhelming in the narrow passageway, and he felt slightly claustrophobic, and very aroused. 

"I'm—" Sirius began to say, but Remus wasn't listening. He pushed Sirius against the wall and kissed him hard, twisting his hands in Sirius's robes and tugging them off. 

Sirius gasped and twisted away. "No, you're not beating me at this too," he said, his voice growling with every word. He pushed against Remus, forcing his back against the opposite wall. 

"You're admitting I beat you? Fair and square and all that?" Remus moved his face away to keep Sirius from kissing him. 

"Except for the part where I started before Wormtail got to three." Sirius tried to angle his face to kiss Remus. 

"That's because you're a filthy cheater." 

" _Filthy_ is the perfect word to describe me." Sirius smiled in that lewd sort of sexy way he had, and pressed his hard prick against Remus's leg. They started kissing again, Sirius's blood clearly still boiling by the intensity at which he pressed his mouth to Remus's. 

Sirius's hands were everywhere, pulling at their robes, first removing his own, then Remus's. Their robes fell around their ankles like they were standing in puddles of water. He made quick work of the buttons on Remus's shirt. With each flick of the buttons, the magnitude of Remus's erection increased. He wanted Sirius's quick sure hands to take off all of his clothes and fuck him hard and fast. With his hand, his mouth—whatever; it didn't matter. Remus _ached_ for anything. He reached for Sirius's trousers and unbuckled the belt. Sirius moaned, kissing him more, sliding his tongue across Remus's teeth. 

They unfastened one another's trousers almost simultaneously, Remus eagerly reaching for Sirius's cock. It was no surprise he wasn't wearing any pants. Sirius slid his hands down across Remus's hips, lowering his pants and trousers past them, stopping when Remus's cock bobbed free and rubbed against Sirius's forearm. He ran his fingers up the length, and Remus moaned, arching his back.

Their kissing softened slightly as Sirius began to rock his hips against Remus. He slid his hands up the sides of Remus's body, taking his right hand and rubbing his palm against Remus's left nipple. Remus moaned, bucking his hips into Sirius. 

"Merlin, I want to bend you over and fuck you," Sirius growled into Remus's hair. 

"What's stopping you," Remus said, sliding his hands up and gripping Sirius firmly by the hair. 

"No lube…probably come if I brush my cock across your arse," Sirius said before biting Remus's neck. 

"Next time, then," Remus said. "Now you can make _me_ come."

" _Fuck,_ " Sirius gasped. He pushed Remus's pants and trousers all the way down and pulled one of Remus's legs up. Remus curled it around Sirius's hip and across his arse, pulling them closer together. Sirius curled his arm around Remus's leg, his palm flat at the juncture between thigh and arse. 

Sirius thrust quickly against Remus, driving his back into the wall over and over again. Remus moaned, ignoring the hard stone scraping at his skin, and pushed back at each thrust, his cock, sweat and come-slicked, pressing harder and harder against Sirius's own cock and belly. Sirius inched his fingers along the underside of Remus' thigh, pressing them hard into the cleft of his arse, and Remus groaned.

"More," he gasped, thrusting and rolling his hips. 

"Oh, fuck!" Sirius's body stiffened against Remus, and he came in short, stabbing thrusts, his eyes closed, and mouth open in obvious ecstasy. The warm sticky heat spilling out on Remus made him come as well, and he held on as long as he could, his leg shaking and pulsing in time with his orgasm, still wrapped around Sirius's arse, pressing Sirius close against him. They moved together, letting every bit out of them, and Remus slowly lowered his leg, feeling weak and sated.

Sirius sagged against Remus, breathing heavily. Remus felt a small smile creep across his lips; he had lasted longer than Sirius. It was a mere second or two, but it still counted. 

"Don't tell anyone, yeah?" Remus mumbled. 

"Tell anyone what?" Sirius asked, rubbing his cheek against Remus's. "That we shagged in the passageway?" 

Remus shook his head. "No. Idiot," he said softly. "That I kicked your arse. Let's keep it a secret. Let everyone think you're still the best," Remus said, and smiled. 

"I _am_ the best," Sirius said arrogantly. 

Remus nodded. "Right, just like that. We can keep the fact that I own your arse between you and me." 

"Prongs and Wormtail were there, too," Sirius pointed out. 

Remus waved his hand casually, as if brushing off an insect, and grinned. "Not to worry. I've been meaning to practice my memory charms."


End file.
